


My Heart is Yours

by fadedlullabyes



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bottom Steve, Bruce is adorable, Fluff, More tags to be added, Multi, Panic Attack, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Set in 2014, Steve Angst, Steve Feels, Steve becomes a human, Steve is out of his element, Steve learns to be a human, Switch Bruce, Threesome, Tony is afraid of the ocean, Tony lost his memory, Top Tony, alternative universe, merman!Steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-01-15 12:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1304929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedlullabyes/pseuds/fadedlullabyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve had met Tony when they were just children and played on the beach. One day a terrible incident took Tony's memory of Steve and so Steve watched Tony from afar. Then one day he makes a deal with Natasha, the sea witch, to become human. Is it worth it when Steve finds out that Tony has given his heart to another?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Payment

It was the first time the sun had broken out of the clouds in weeks. The rays were warm as a gentle breeze lifted the salty scent of the ocean to the beach. The jagged rocks were treacherous as soft waves crashed against them; pushing and pulling away. The only access to them was by ocean; meaning if you swam, you could reach them.

 

The task wasn’t hard for Steve. He was made for the ocean with his long sapphire tail that was strong enough to warn off even the strongest shark. It shimmered in the sun as he hid behind a particularly tall rock and watched the hill above him.

 

There was a good view of the large yard and imposing house on land. It covered at least over half the hill before it sloped down into the beach. The hill was striking with little foothills that were worn by animals and staff alike. The humans were always busy as they bustled back and forth to keep on task of caring for the grounds.

 

Sometimes, Steve spent hours just watching them come and go. He found it amusing just how slow they were on land. There were no water currents to boost their speed or help them move gracefully. But there was the odd chance that Steve would see someone who could navigate the hill. He would wait for days just to catch a glimpse of him because Tony didn’t need to see the path; his feet knew the way just by memory.

 

Everyday Steve would watch for him; hoping that Tony would trek all the way down to the beach. The light of hope never died in him if Tony just kept straight on his path, his head buried in whatever gadget he had in his hand. Steve couldn’t take offense because Tony didn’t exactly remember him and the time he spent near the ocean just to play with Steve.

 

They had been kids; Steve had been barely ten summers old when he first met Tony. It was curiosity more than anything that had drawn him to the surface world. He investigated the beach with vigor since his mother had passed and Steve had to take care of himself. There was no one to warn him off of going to the surface and exposing himself to the cruelty of humans.

 

Steve had always been one to follow his heart; doing what he thought was right. He had no problem laying on the beach in the summer sun. It even gave him a healthy tan. Steve was fond of the warmth of the sun, he basked in it whenever he could. It was hard with the humans coming and going until he found a section of the beach they didn’t quite visit.

 

It was a sanctuary to Steve; a place where he could escape from his troubles and just live. He loved the ocean but being an orphan at that age had been hard and he barely survived. If it hadn’t been for Bucky, he probably would have died. Bucky didn’t care about Steve coming and going as he wished as long as he returned back to their little cave in one piece.

 

Bucky knew about Steve’s little hobby, as he called it. But he knew Steve was careful ever since Tony had his accident and hadn’t let another human see him. Steve was one who was cautious no matter what and if anyone could laze around on the beach and not be seen, it was him.

Tony was still a sore subject with Steve. Just three years after they had met and began to teach other how to speak the other’s language, Tony had lost his memory in an accident where he almost drowned. It had been an awful day to even be out but the boys had promised each other to meet because it was Steve’s day of birth. A summer storm had brewed and it was bad enough that not even Steve could make it to the surface.

 

The currents of the ocean had been too strong and he couldn’t get anywhere near the surface. It was during that time Tony had his accident and lost his memory. If it hadn’t been for the staff around the beach a week later, Steve would have thought Tony had been mad at him.

 

He had learned Tony nearly drowned and a forceful bump to the head had taken his memory from him. He didn’t remember Steve and their secret meetings. For years Steve continued to swim to the beach and watch Tony grow up from afar. Steve waited with bated breath for those small moments when he could barely catch the familiar smile on Tony’s lips.

 

There was a time when it had been directed at Steve. He missed those days and yearned for them again. He wished he could shed his tail and be able to walk up to Tony. The days they spent in the warm sun playing had been the best moments of Steve’s life and he never forgot the feeling that blossomed in his chest when he had been around Tony.

 

It had been love. It never diminished over the years, only grew as Steve watched Tony grow up. He had wished he could have been there for all the achievements he knew Tony had been capable of. When they were young boys, all Tony spoke about was science. Steve knew he had a passion for it and that Tony was an engineering genius with the way he proudly spoke about what he had accomplished. Steve had been impressed when Tony had shown off his gadgets like he was a proud father.

 

It was addicting because Tony’s brown eyes would light up as he spoke rapidly about what he was working or what he had made. Steve only nodded and tried to follow along when Tony spoke without breaths, his hands moving as he tried to explain everything. It was an enthusiasm that had been contagious and Steve would take it with him when he returned to the ocean with a forlorn goodbye at the end of the day.

 

There was nothing Steve wouldn’t do in order to achieve his dream and walk on land. He rested his chin on his head and sighed wistfully as he watched the hillside with sharp blue eyes. Tony sightings were rare lately and he wondered what was taking up the other’s time. He knew Tony spoke about college when they were younger and how he had been expected to go a certain school. Steve always idly wondered if Tony had finished early because he was just that smart. Steve wasn’t a fool and knew a genius when he met one.

 

“I knew you’d be here.” The deep rumble disrupted Steve’s thoughts and he turned his head to peer down at the water.

 

Bucky was treading down by the base of the rocks, brown hair floating around him as he watched Steve with an amused expression. He knew Steve’s routine like the back of his hand and would always come to retrieve him when he’d been above for longer than what was necessary.

 

If it weren’t for Bucky, Steve was sure he would waste away on these rocks. It was no secret among their people that Steve cared for a surface-dweller and he was treated differently for it. That didn’t matter to him though, he was content for the time being but there had been an itch he couldn’t quite shake and he knew that something would be happening soon.

 

“Of course, where else would I be?” Steve inquired as he gracefully slipped from his perch and submerged into the ocean with Bucky.

 

“You’re too predictable. You should try to change it up some,” Bucky grumbled.

 

The warmth of the sun wasn’t filtering below the surface of the water. Steve always missed it when he delved deeper and deeper into the abyss of his home. He was glad that years of conditioning had prepared his eyes for the change in light. Bucky had taken a little longer to adjust and Steve had teased him mercilessly for that.

 

“I can’t help it that’s the only place I can hide.” Steve shot back playfully as their home finally came into view. It wasn’t a particularly long trip from the cave to the surface, especially with a current to boost speed as he swam.

 

“You should just visit the sea witch and get yourself some legs,” Bucky stated with a roll of his eyes. He was being sarcastic but Steve took the suggestion to heart. He had known the sea witch was a powerful being who granted wishes, only to ask for very little in return. There was always a price but sometimes it was worth it. There had been those who had a successful wish granted and lived their lives happily.

 

Steve had toyed with the idea before and he found it more attractive this time around. He wasn’t young anymore, he was an adult and ready for a mate. The hard thing would be leaving his home and convincing Tony that they were meant for each other. Of course it would have been easier if Tony still had his memory, but then again, nothing worth it was ever that easy.

 

“You’re seriously thinking about it.” Bucky remarked with a scowl. He wasn’t fond of the sea witch nor did he trust magic all that much either.

 

Steve shrugged in response. He liked having options and if the sea witch could grant him one chance to see Tony and to win him over, he would take it in a heartbeat and try his damnest to win Tony over again.

 

The thought weighed heavily on Steve’s mind during the night. He couldn’t sleep because every scenario was running through his head as he tried to rest. He couldn’t sleep because there was excitement and fear running through his body. His tail swished back and forth as he tried to dream about having human legs and finally being reunited with Tony after so much time had passed. Nervousness also flowed through Steve because he knew there was a chance that Tony had moved on and had found himself he could love.

 

It was a nasty little idea but Steve couldn’t really blame Tony since he didn’t remember Steve. The sting was deep but he had no right being jealous. These things were bound to happen since they had no contact in a long time.

 

When it was finally time to start the day again, Steve darted out of the cave, leaving Bucky behind. Steve knew Bucky would follow him; he personally saw to it that Steve stayed out of trouble on a daily basis. It was a hard job but one Bucky didn’t mind at all because Steve was his brother in every way possible and he would do his best to make sure the other was happy.

 

Even if it meant losing him to a human.

 

Steve knew Bucky would survive without him. They were both fighters and knew that one day they would lose the other; whether it was by death or finding a mate. There would be no hard feelings between them and if Steve became human, he could always visit Bucky by the ocean.

 

The sea witch lived in a cave that was further out than what Steve and Bucky were comfortable travelling. The coral reef dropped off into an even darker abyss where the monsters lurked, waiting for the prey that would be stupid enough to venture out into their hunting grounds.

 

Steve swallowed and continued to make his way towards the opening that had been carved into the reef. He lingered in the doorway, Bucky beside and grabbing his hand in comfort. He had thought about this all night and he just wasn’t sure what would become of him if he went through with this.

 

“It’s rude to linger in doorways,” came the raspy from inside. It was beautiful and alluring.

 

Bucky and Steve glanced at each other before moving past the seaweed that flowed with the current. The way in was long, lined with carvings of the creatures that lived in the ocean. They were frightfully detailing, as though the artist didn’t stop until detail was perfect.

 

Steve was impressed and wanted to study them more but Bucky pushed him forward. He had always been impatient and wanted to get this over sooner rather than later. He didn’t exactly want to follow Steve here but he knew his brother would need the support and he offered in the only way he knew how; by being there.

 

“There you are,” the witch greeted with a wave of her hand.

 

Her hair was long and red, her lips full and her green eyes were full of knowledge Steve would never have the chance of gaining for himself. She was beautiful and moved with a deadly grace. He had no doubts as to whom the sculptor was now. She swam towards them, hair flowing freely around her pretty face as he regarded Bucky and Steve. It was as if Steve had know her from another life, there was a connection between them but he couldn’t quite grasp what it was.

 

“You may call me Natasha while you are here, Steve.” She smiled as she touched his face intimately as though she were greeting an old lover.

 

“It’s a pleasure,” Steve finally managed to say after several long moments. He was nothing but polite because it was the last thing his mother had taught him before her illness had taken her from him.

 

“I know why you are and it will cost you.” She remarked when she moved away and started to gather ingredients. “It will not be an easy path for you and there will be times you will be disheartened. The price will not only be your voice but could very well be your home.”

 

“What do you mean?” Steve inquired as he followed her; Bucky staying where he was and watched.

 

“If you cannot gain the love of the man you seek, then you will be forever banished from the ocean. You will not be able to return to the ocean, for if you do, you will die.” Natasha’s warning sent a spark of fear through Steve.

 

He had not expected that when Natasha had been speaking about his transformation. Idly he had wondered how she knew what he had sought, but she was a witch after all and maybe these could not be hidden from her.

 

“That is a risk I would gladly take,” Steve finally responded with strong conviction. There was only the payment they had left to discuss.

 

“For this spell, the price is your voice. If you manage to win the heart of the man you love and you have him kiss you, it will return to you. If you fail, Steve, you will be stuck on land until the end of your natural life without it. These are the terms if you accept the spell.” Her eyes never left Steve’s face, searching for any doubt that would make him turn away.

 

“I’m willing to pay it.” Steve responded, his eyes never straying from Natasha’s. He found the price wasn’t all that bad and it could have been worse.

 

“Bucky will not be able to go with you. This is something you must do on your own.” Natasha’s eyes were sad as she saw the emotions flicker over Steve’s face.

 

“You’ll be fine without me, Steve. Besides, we can always meet up at the beach.” Bucky clapped Steve on the back in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.

 

“You will swim to the surface and lay on the beach. Once you’re dry, the spell will take effect. I suggest you find a secure location so that you won’t have any complications. I wish you the best, Steve.” Natasha explained before taking off and mixing the ingredients she had gathered.

 

When she was done, there was a small purple elixir she poured into a vial. She looked to Steve again and pressed it into his hand. “Drink this now and by the time you reach the beach, you will start to sleep. The transformation will be painful and it will be best if you slept through it.”

 

“Now go.” Natasha told him with a push after he had drank the concoction.

 

Steve thanked her profusely before taking off with Bucky and swam to the surface. His nerves were jumbled as they reached the surface. They were twisting, jumbling together creating a cacophony of chaos in his mind. Steve was beginning to doubt what he was doing; wondering if it was worth it to lose his home if he never got Tony to kiss him.

 

When they breached the surface Steve gave Bucky a hug. He would miss his best friend and knew that while he could see Bucky, he wouldn’t be able to touch without the fear of dying. It was a hard decision and he hated that he would be leaving his brother behind.

 

Steve settled onto the beach and made sure that he was away from the tide. He didn't want to mess up his only chance of being with Tony. As he lay on the beach, Steve watched the waves and he could barely make Bucky out. He was keeping watch and it seemed like he was taking this as seriously as anything else.

 

The sun was warm on his skin and Steve felt himself drifting. He struggled to stay awake but it was no use as he watched Bucky with heavy eyes, keeping a silent vigilance from a safe distance. Steve didn’t know when he fell asleep.

 

When Steve woke next he had legs and he was amazed by them. He was just as small as a human as he had been a merman but that didn’t bother him. He inspected every inch of his legs and then noticed something else. His genitalia were on the outside now and it was certainly a funny feeling. Steve poked and prodded but stopped when his penis started to rise.

 

There wasn’t anyone on the beach and Steve knew he should try to stand. He pushed himself up but stumbled back to the sand. He hit on his knees hard and cried out at the pain. It was different in this body, like a fire that burned through him.

 

When he was a merman, his pain tolerance had been higher than this. He could feel tears forming at his eyes, but Steve ignored them. He needed to get the hang of walking before he was found. It wouldn’t be all that great to meet his first human in this form without that basic human trait.

 

It took him a few times, but Steve eventually found his land legs and was able to walk around without much mishap. He grinned out to the ocean, knowing that Bucky was out there somewhere. He hoped his brother saw it before he started to walk further down the street. Everything was different on land and Steve knew if he hadn’t spent so much time with Tony, he’d be overwhelmed right now.

The sand was hot under his feet and Steve tried not to pay it any mind. If he focused on the energy that seemed that seemed to burst through him. He watched the ocean flow and ebb against the rocks as he explored the part of the beach that he’d never been able to before.

 

Steve couldn’t help himself as he touched the grass and rocks. Dryness was a new concept to him and there was no control over his hands as he explored everything. It was almost like he was dreaming and if he was, Steve didn’t want to wake up from it. This was bliss to him and he knew that if he woke up in the ocean, he’d cry.

 

It was hard to tell how long he was on the beach before finally making his way up the hill. There seemed to be no one around and for that Steve was almost grateful. He was embarrassed enough as it was with being completely naked; something Tony had told him wasn’t normal in his society. All those lessons were still in Steve’s mind as if they had happened just yesterday.

 

The hill was a bit of challenge for Steve, his new feet weren’t quite cooperating and he fell more than anything as he tried to climb it. His knees were skinned and he was bleeding. He had heard stories from Tony about infections and how bad they could get.  

 

It was hard climbing up the hill and Steve finally had to use his hands in order to keep going. He couldn’t contain the excitement of seeing Tony again face to face after such a long time. His stomach wouldn’t settle down when he finally crested the hill and found there was absolutely no one around.

 

Steve blinked and stood up straight. The ground was more even up here and he found his balance just a little better. He gazed around the property while he strolled along as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

 

Just as Tony had described when they were little, the lawn was kept tidy and the flowers were trimmed neatly and not a dying bud was on them. He was impressed with how everything just seemed free like the ocean. Steve felt a little better about leaving his home behind as he realized the wind worked like the currents he so often swam on.

 

The building where Tony said he lived was imposing at such a short distance. Steve was actually intimidated by it as he stared in awe. Tony had shown him photos of his house but they were nothing compared to seeing it with his own eyes. He stood still for several long moments, just soaking in the sights and sounds around him. The stimuli was just so different around him and sound carried so differently up here. Steve was sure that he was going to pass out just from excitement alone.

 

“Hey! What are you doing here?” The voice was stern as Steve turned and he hoped it had been Tony. But it wasn’t.

 

The man had something on his face, framing his eyes and his hair was wild with dark curls. Steve didn’t know him and frowned. He hadn’t seen this man around the grounds so maybe he was a friend of Tony’s instead of the staff that was kept on hand.

 

Steve tried to talk but as no sound left his mouth, he snapped it shut and blushed. He should have remembered the payment Natasha had taken from him. It was typical of him to forget something like that since it concerned only himself and he tended to not take care of himself like he should.

 

“You can’t speak.” The man stated, cocking his head slightly and studying Steve.

 

His nudity didn’t seem to phase the other at all and so Steve just stared back. He was at a loss as to what to do because he couldn’t just outright tell his story because he knew no one would believe him and the only person who would didn’t even remember.

 

Steve knew how to write some because Tony had taught him all those summers ago on the rocks. It had been a long time but Steve could still how to move his hands to make the letters he would more than likely need.

 

He made some gestures in the air with his finger, slowly spelling out his name so the other knew he was at least educated. When he was done, Steve smiled brilliantly, his cheeks still warm from the blush.

 

“Well, Steve, I’m Bruce. It’s nice to meet you even if these are strange circumstances.” Bruce greeted him warmly and held a hand. For a few moments Steve stared at it until he remember this was how humans greeted one another. Bruce’s hand was warm and Steve liked the feel of it immediately and he didn’t want to let go. Unfortunately, the hand was pulled away after a few moments.

 

“Where did you come from if you don’t mind me asking? There’s limited access to Tony’s home.” Bruce placed an arm around Steve’s shoulders and led him to the house. Contact on the surface was so different that Steve was shocked. Bruce’s hands were warm and a little rough. But the touch of skin to his own was pleasant and he wanted to keep contact forever.

 

Steve pointed down to the ocean and made a movement with his arm that resembled swimming.

 

“You were washed ashore?” Bruce asked gently, his hand tightened on Steve’s shoulder in comfort as he led Steve to the steps of the house.

 

Steve nodded, knowing he would have to make up some sort of cover story because he couldn’t just say he had lived in the sea and then decided to become human one day. He knew how mistrusting humans were and Steve wouldn’t allow his people to be subjected to some of the horrors he had heard from Tony.

 

“Do you remember anything? It seems you don’t have any identification on you, Steve.” Bruce’s tone was gently, as if he were afraid he would scare Steve off. In a way, Steve found it sweet.

 

He felt bad for lying but there was no way Bruce could ever know unless Steve came to trust him. Bucky always thought he had been naive but Steve was cautious and didn’t trust as easily as Bucky thought. He shook his head ‘no’, relaying that he didn’t remember how he came to the beach. Hopefully Bruce would draw the deduction that Steve only remembered his name.

 

“That’s certainly a pickle you’re in.” Bruce stated with a crooked smile. “I remember waking up quite a few times naked and not knowing where I was. So you’re not alone.”

 

The smile Steve gave Bruce was brilliant. The man was very likable and he felt some sort of kinship with him. Bruce was someone that could be a really good friend, Steve could feel it deep in his bones. Bucky always said he needed more friends and if that friend was a human, then who was Bucky to judge?

 

Steve stepped into the house and his blue eyes widened. This was nothing like his home under the ocean where everything seemed primitive. The decoration was sleek, the walls were a gray color that seemed to shine (there were walls with glass here and there) and there was a huge tank of fish in the wall. He didn’t know what to think as he tried to take everything in. It was overwhelming and he felt his balance go. If it hadn’t been for Bruce catching him, he would have hit the floor.

 

“I take it you haven’t seen a place like Tony’s?” Bruce asked with a knowing smile. “I almost had the same reaction when I first saw it. C’mon, we’ll get you cleaned up and dressed. And then see if we have find your family. Tony has connections so hopefully someone out there will recognize you.”

 

Steve could only nod. He knew that no one would claim to be his family since he had none on the surface. He was safe and hopefully Tony would keep him here with him until he could win him over again. It would be hard without the other’s memory to aid him but hopefully some of that familiarity they had with each was still in there.

 

Bruce led Steve around the house. When Tony had described when they were children, he didn’t think it would be this big. He always imagined the house was like his and Bucky’s cave and had enough room for a family to live in and not something that had a lot of empty space and clear walls.

 

He had a little trouble climbing the stairs but Bruce’s hand kept him from falling and Steve was grateful for that. When they entered the room, Steve took everything in and tried to keep his excitement to himself. He’d never seen anything so amazing in his life and he just wanted to touch everything.

 

“I’m guessing you’re not used to a house like this,” Bruce chuckled lightly as he went over to the tub and began to turn the water on as Steve started to shake.

 

Steve just watched Bruce move in awe. He had never expected any of this when Tony had described it to him and seeing it for the first time was absolutely amazing. He watched as the tub filled with water and for a moment Steve panicked. He knew he couldn’t set foot into the ocean, but what about other water? Would it be safe to step into? He knew all about baths because Tony had been forced to take them after he spent time with Steve down at the beach and he would complain about them.

 

“Hey, there’s no need to worry.” Bruce was in front of him in an instant, his voice soothing as he tried to calm Steve down. His hands were gentle as they provided solace to Steve. He shouldn’t really be afraid of the water, but he had no idea if it would kill him.

 

“I’ll be right here, Steve. I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” Bruce waited for Steve to nod and helped him over to the tub.

 

At first Steve didn’t want to step into it, but with the gentle coaxing of Bruce’s voice, he gingerly put a foot in the water. When he didn’t die, Steve managed to sink into the warmth of the tub and opened his mouth in a soundless sigh of relief. He laid his head against the edge and just soaked in the warmth of the water. The ocean was never warm like this and Steve just wanted to stay in the tub and never leave.

 

“See? That wasn’t so bad.” Bruce’s voice held a teasing tone and Steve shot him a look that was meant for killing but the other man only laughed at him.

 

“I can see you’ll be able to communicate just fine.” He chuckled with a shake of his head. “Do you know sign language?”

 

Steve shook his head in response. He had never learned sign language because the human’s would be different from his own. Merpeople had their own signing because there were times it was dangerous to even speak and so they had a system in place for when words couldn’t be used.

 

“So your loss of voice must be recent then?” Bruce mused as he watched Steve glance at all the products that were lining the tub. He watched as Steve went through each bottle and the faces of disgust he made were just hilarious.

 

Steve looked up from the bottle of shampoo and nodded. Even if he couldn’t give out the big details, he could still answer the smaller questions that were vague. He didn’t know how to explain his story without giving the details away and so he decided he could be as vague as possible; especially with pretending to lose his memory.

 

“Well, I’m not technically a doctor,” Bruce began as he sat down by the tub, “ but I can give you a once-over to make sure that nothing is wrong. Washing up on shore like that must have put some strain on your body. I’d take you to a hospital but that’d be hard to explain.”

 

Bruce continued to speak in soothing tones to Steve. It seemed he liked to talk about anything and everything, giving Steve time to put in an answer if he could. Communicating was a pain, but Steve had managed the best he could and it seemed like Bruce really knew body language. He could read it better than anyone Steve knew. It was relaxing to have him there as Steve washed his body and his hair. 

Those were the easy parts because Tony had told him all about them. He looked to Bruce when the water started to cool. It wasn’t pleasant and so he started to stand, Bruce’s hand was on his elbow before Steve knew it. He gave the other a grateful smile and stepped out of the tub.

 

He was handed a towel and Steve dried off. Bruce had taken care of the water in the tub. There was an awkward moment of silence because Steve was naked and he didn’t know what to do. This was new to him and he felt out of place, he didn’t have a right to be here and he started to panic again. His hands shook as he tried to keep his grip on the towel. Steve’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest and he didn’t know if he could do this.

 

Essentially, he was a fish out of water and he didn’t know if this was worth it. He’d given his voice to live on land on find love; but what if he couldn’t earn that love? Tony already didn’t remember him and to try and establish the love and connection they had when they were children would be impossible.

 

“Hey, Steve, it’s okay. You’re safe here.” Bruce reassured him with a low, soft voice. He was back again in Steve’s personal space, running his hands down Steve’s arms in a soothing gesture. “Whatever happened to you, you don’t have to worry about it here. I’m sure once I tell Tony, he won’t let you out of his sight. Now come on, let’s find you some clothes and you can rest.”

 

Steve nodded and quickly brushed his teeth under Bruce’s watch. He then allowed Bruce to pull him out of the bathroom and led him once again through the house. They came to a room, Steve watched as Bruce opened the door and they entered. It was decorated with various pictures on the wall, outlining a life. Steve was enraptured and started to go from picture to picture to see every one of them.

 

He didn’t pay to attention to Bruce who was busy rummaging through his drawers. Instead, all of Steve’s attention was on the pictures that seemed to dictate Bruce’s adult life. There were none of his childhood and Steve began to wonder what it had been like for Bruce as a child.

 

Fascination grew in Steve as he chronicled Bruce’s life. In most of them he was smiling, but it was a reserved small smile. And then he came to a picture that shattered his heart into pieces. Bruce was standing with Tony, Tony’s arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to Bruce’s lips. They were both smiling brightly and seemed to burst with happiness.

 

His deal was meaningless now and he couldn’t return home. Steve wanted to curl up and try to forget his life. He wanted to leave his problems behind and just drift. He wanted to find comfort in his memories of Tony and how he used to smile at Steve like that.

 

“I see you found Tony.” Bruce’s voice made Steve jump a little and he slapped a smile on his face. He couldn’t let him know anything was wrong because then Steve would have nowhere to go.

 

“That was our engagement party back last week.” Bruce explained as he handed Steve a pair of underwear and pants. Steve slipped them on slowly, not liking how the fabric felt on his flesh.

 

“You’ll like Tony. He won’t be home or another few hours, so why don’t you rest? I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.” Bruce left the room and Steve found himself breaking.

 

He hadn’t even been on land for a day and already his heart was broken. He found Bruce’s bed and laid on it, burying his face into the warm covers and he felt tears pricking his eyes. He couldn’t do this and Bucky would laugh at him if he went down to the beach to relay everything.

  
For the first time in his life, Steve felt useless and he didn’t know how to cope. 


	2. Out of Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's finding that land doesn't agree with him all that well.

It was waking up and realizing that he wasn’t home that had Steve disoriented for a few moments and falling out of the bed. He didn’t recognize where he was and it was evident he wasn’t in the ocean. He had gasped for breath, willing the gills he had behind his ears. This went on for several moments before Steve realized that he was able to breathe just fine.

 

He was able to drag himself to the bed and lean back against it. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on top of them. Steve hadn’t been prepared for the memories from yesterday to make themselves known. He pressed his forehead violently against his knees and tried to force them out. The pain did nothing for him and only made the situation that much worse.

 

It made him realize the reality of his life and that he was stuck on land for the remainder of his life. He wouldn’t even be able to visit Bucky because he knew one day he would be kicked out of this house. It would never matter if he told Bruce that he remembered his past and who he was. There was nowhere for Steve to go and he would be lost in the world of man.

 

The thought terrified Steve because he knew he wouldn’t be able to adapt. This world was completely different from his own and there was no way he could adjust to even function normally. The idea of stepping into the ocean was becoming more and more enticing. It would resolve most of his problems and he wouldn’t have to worry about survival in a world he knew practically nothing about.

 

This wasn’t like him but he couldn’t think this out. Steve always had a strategy and back ups to ensure that he would survive. But he had gone into this half-cocked and now he wasn’t sure if he would be able to get out of it. Natasha had been very clear on the rules.

 

Bucky would probably be disappointed in him. Steve hadn’t even fought for Tony, but then again it wasn’t his place. He wasn’t one to take another’s lover away from them. Steve hated the thought and pushed it back into the deep recesses of his mind. He should have stayed in his cave and just lived his life out miserably; at least he had comfort there.

 

There was nothing here that could even make Steve feel safe. The photos of Tony and Bruce were mocking as he tried to not glance at them. They were a reminder of what he would never had. He was just too foolish and dove into this without much thought. Steve should have been smarter about this instead of running into it head first. He knew Tony didn’t remember him and he should never have hoped that Tony hadn’t taken a lover.

 

But there was nothing that could be done about it. Steve would have to hold his chin high and try to get through this the best he could. It wasn’t an ideal life and he knew once he was kicked out he would be forgotten and there would be nothing that would tie him to the land. He had heard the story of Ariel and how she had not resisted the call of the ocean and stepped into it, dying and becoming part of the sea.

 

It was a tale that kept most merpeople from making the transition. There had been no record of a human falling in love with one of Steve’s kind; not even a whisper. He should have remembered that when he first made his mind up to become a human. But they said love is blind and Steve was certainly blind when it came to Tony. He wanted more than his friend back and it would cost Steve more than he had thought he would be giving.

 

Putting on a neutral face, Steve stood and made his way to the door. He wasn’t sure where Bruce was, but from the faint light coming from the window, it would be dusk soon. He would be kicked out once Bruce told Tony about Steve and he had to gather his nerves and push them deep down. Steve was used to being on his own and he would survive. He would live on land until he died and then maybe, just maybe, he’d see Bucky in the afterlife.

 

It would be hard being separated from Bucky, but there would be no other option. Steve wasn’t sure how his human life would go and he certainly wouldn’t ask Bucky to become a human just to protect himself. Steve needed to stand on his own without his best friend’s hovering. It was best if Steve said his goodbyes and disappear into the world.

 

The door was slightly ajar and Steve had no problem pushing it open. He could hear voices drifting up from downstairs and followed them until he found himself on the bottom step. Bruce and Tony were standing face to face, their hands moving wildly as if they were angry with each other. But from what Steve could see of Bruce’s face, they weren’t really arguing all that much.

 

It was uncomfortable to stand there and watch. Steve was shifting on his feet because he didn’t know what else to do. He felt like he was watching something that should have been private. He was an outsider, now more than ever and Steve didn’t like the feeling. For several moments he watched Bruce and Tony, not alerting them to his presence. He could see how familiar they were with each other and how their bodies just knew the other was close.

 

Steve had to wipe a tear from his eye because there was no way he would be caught crying. He would never allow Bucky to see him cry and he wasn’t about to let Bruce or Tony see it, either. Steve watched for a few more moments and felt his heart twist in his chest as they kissed. It was hard watching Tony kiss another person. Steve almost bolted when it lasted for a few long moments.

 

Before either of them could see him, Steve gently stepped down from the stair and made his way to them. This wasn’t the ideal situation but he supposed there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t want to interrupt Bruce and Tony but Steve knew getting kicked out now would hurt less than it would later.

 

“Hey there, Steve!” Bruce greeted as he let go of Tony and grasped Steve’s hand to pull him forward more.

 

He was lost as Bruce made the introductions. Of course Steve already knew Tony, he’d known him all those years ago but there was no trace of the boy he once knew. There was no recognition whatsoever in Tony’s face and Steve knew what had to be done. He needed to step away and find his own niche in this human world. He wouldn’t be able to function around Tony. That was a given fact and one he should own up to.

 

“So you’re the guy Bruce picked up.” Tony started as he shook Steve’s hand. Steve tried not to think about how warm the hand was. This was different than a merperson’s biology and he tried to not pull his hand back.  

 

Steve nodded his head. He wished he could speak and tell Tony everything about their childhood. The option was gone now, there could be no indication of their past interactions. The spell weighed heavily on Steve’s mind. This was different than what he had imagined and he just didn’t know if he could handle being in front of Tony.

 

There was a tight constriction in Steve’s chest and he wondered if it was possible for him to die. He felt as though he couldn’t breathe and he was sure that he would pass out. Bruce’s hand was on the small of his back, reassuring him that Tony’s hard stare and frown wasn’t all that bad.

 

“So, have you found his family yet?” Tony asked, turning to Bruce and ignoring Steve completely.

 

“Tony! He’s only been here a few hours! It takes time.” Bruce’s tone was incredulous as he gave Tony a hard glance. His hand kept Steve in place with his hand.

 

“So? There’s a place he can go, Bruce. I’m not going to house people who can’t remember who they are. I bet there is someone out there more qualified to take care of Steve.” Tony answered with a wave of his hand. “He seems like a smart kid, he could be okay without us.”

 

By this point Steve had started to tremble. Tony didn’t want him and he knew there was a chance but to hear how cold his tone was when it used to be friendly broke something inside Steve. He slumped his shoulders and pushed Bruce away, resigned to his fate. He couldn’t even properly look at Tony to see how he had changed because Steve wanted to run.

 

“You know as well as I do that he would be lost in the system, Tony!” Bruce growled. His hand shot out to grab Steve’s wrist and pull him back. “He washed up on our property, Tony. He’s lost and we shouldn’t just push him into the system! He can’t even speak, Tony! Someone could take advantage of him!”

 

By now, Steve was trembling with full force and he wrenched his hand from Bruce’s hold. He saw a pen and piece of paper on a nearby table and made his way toward it. He started writing sloppily, knowing it would look like Tony’s hand writing. He didn’t want to stay where he wasn’t wanted. It wouldn’t be pleasant for him nor would it be pleasant for Bruce and Tony.

 

_Don’t worry about me. I can handle myself just fine. I don’t have to stay where I’m not welcomed. Tony’s right, I should be with someone who can help me. Thank you for taking care of me._

 

Steve read over his note to make sure everything looked right. He was satisfied with how his handwriting looked and he knew he spelled everything just like Tony had taught him all those years ago. He tapped Bruce on the shoulder and handed it over; watching the man’s brow furrow as he read it.

 

“No, Steve. You’re staying right here. You aren’t going anywhere. I can see that you don’t want to and that it would cause stress on you. You’re attached to this place already and you’re comfortable here. Please, stay. That world out there would eat you alive.” Bruce pleaded.  His eyes were warm as he tried to convince Steve to stay.

 

It was hard to resist Bruce because he had a kindness about him and Steve didn’t want to say no. He could tell that he was actually wanted here by Bruce and he wondered why. He was a stranger and he had no right to be here. It was hard to be honest with himself and it hurt. Steve had no place here and he just shook his head.

 

“See! He knows what’s best for him.” Tony insisted with his arms waving wildly. “Let’s take him to the nearest shelter and let them help Steve.”

 

“No,” Bruce dictated in a stern tone. He once again grabbed Steve’s wrist and pulled him close to his body. It was a protective embrace and his face said everything else he couldn’t. Bruce wouldn’t budge on this subject and he would keep Steve here. It felt right to him.

 

“Bruce! He needs help that we can’t provide-”

 

“We can and you know it, Tony! You have doctors at your disposal and you can help him. Those shelters won’t do shit for Steve and he’ll be lost in the system. I won’t let that happen.” Bruce’s eyes held a determination that wouldn’t be broken. Tony knew he had lost the moment they were turned on him. There was no arguing with Bruce when he was like this and Tony knew it was just best if he gave in.

 

“Alright. He can stay here. I’ll bring in a specialist and have them look at Steve. But he can’t stay here for free. We’ll find something he can do and he can work to stay.” Tony ran his hand down his face and gave a long sigh.

 

“Glad that’s settled then. I made us some dinner.” Bruce remarked and pulled Steve with him. He made no move to touch Tony and that had Steve perplexed. From what he had seen earlier, Bruce liked to touch Tony.

 

Steve could only follow Tony into the kitchen and what he saw there had his stomach grumbling. There was all kinds of food laid out on the table and he could tell it was something that didn’t normally happen on a daily basis.

 

Tony’s stare was a hard one and it bore right into Steve. He was nervous as Bruce led him to a seat and he had some trouble climbing onto the bar stool. Bruce was hovering near him, just to be there in case he fell. It made Steve feel funny with the attention he was getting from the man. He hadn’t expected this from Bruce at all. He was just a stranger but there was something in Bruce’s body language that screamed he had been through something similar. It wasn’t his place to pry but Steve wanted to ask questions.

 

“I didn’t know what you would like, so I went overboard. What we don’t eat, we can put away for later.” Bruce told Steve with a soft, encouraging smile. He patted Steve on the back and went to fix a plate.

 

Steve watched fascinated as Bruce put small portions of each type of food on his plate. He might not even like some of the food, but he was willing to try at least. Tony used to bring him snacks down at the beach but it was never like this. When the plate was put in front of him, Steve gave Bruce a bright, happy smile. He might not be welcomed by Tony but Bruce made up for that.

 

Bruce started eating first and then Tony followed. Steve watched them for a moment before he mimicked the men. Tony had never taught Steve this part and Steve had never asked. It never had occurred to him that one day he might be a human.

 

The taste of the food would have made Steve moaned if he could talk. Instead he closed his eyes and took in the flavor; relishing in the taste. Steve savored each bite until his plate was empty.

 

He looked to Bruce and gave him a thumbs up; letting the man know his food was delicious and that Steve had enjoyed it. Tony only rolled his eyes and finished his own meal without a word before he placed his plate in the sink.

 

Steve watched sadly as Tony walked out of the kitchen without barely a word to him or Bruce. It seemed like the child Steve had known was gone and there was nothing he could about it. This had been a mistake and now, he couldn’t go home and seek the comfort he desperately needed from Bucky’s arms.

 

“Don’t worry, he’ll come around.” Bruce reassured Steve with a smile. He placed a hand on top of Steve’s to offer up some comfort and Steve could do nothing but allow the tension to drain from his body.

 

They cleaned up the table, Steve watching and learning from Bruce. He wanted to be useful and he would find a way to break away. He helped Bruce wash the dishes even though he was deep in thought and didn’t want to be distracted. It helped that Steve had something to do with his hands. He always liked to work with them and took advantage when he could. Here on land, it seemed that the same spoke true. Steve was better thinking when he was performing a menial task.

 

“You don’t have to help, you know.” Bruce spoke silently. His suggestion was sweet, but Steve didn’t want to stop because he had to earn his place in Tony’s home. It had been the law down under the sea and Steve was nothing but stubborn when it came to encroaching in on someone’s home. Steve felt as though the sooner he left this house, the sooner he could heal.

 

“And you don’t have to leave. I’m not a mind reader, but your face is pretty serious right now, Steve. You seriously don’t have to leave here. I know Tony seems a little rough, but he’ll come around. He’s just kind of picky.” Bruce sighed and placed a plate into the drainer to dry.

 

Steve could tell Bruce wasn’t making excuses for Tony and that he was upset by how his fiance had acted towards Steve. It was endearing and Steve was glad Tony had found someone who cared for him like Steve had. It just hit home how wrong he was for his childhood friend. There was no way Tony would ever love Steve.

 

“Well, that’s done. Why don’t we find you some clothes for tonight and then we can go shopping tomorrow for more.” Bruce unplugged the sink and let the water out, Steve watching as it swirled down in a spiral. It was fascinating to watch because it was almost like a whirlpool without the danger of being sucked in.

 

When Steve realized he had been staring for a bit, he blushed and pulled himself away. He ducked his head and backed out of the kitchen knowing that Bruce was behind him. He didn’t want to be seen as someone who needed to be looked after constantly. Steve could take care of himself and even though Bucky wasn’t around for him to lean on, Steve felt he could do this.

 

“Hey, I didn’t upset up you, did I?” Bruce asked, grabbing Steve gently by the arm and turning him around.

 

Steve shook his head and tried to keep his face straight. It was hard to censor himself when he wasn’t used to it. He had no reason to hide when he was around Bucky. The other merman had known Steve inside and out. The fact that Bruce could pick up on his uneasiness had Steve worried that he’d be able to sense other things about him.

 

“Steve, please.” Bruce’s hand ungripped his arm and slid to his shoulder, gripping it softly. “I don’t want to upset or make you uncomfortable. I want you to be able to come to me. I know I’m a stranger and that means you won’t trust me all that much; but I want you to be able to come to me.”

 

It was nice to hear those words, they were heartfelt and Steve felt for Bruce. He wouldn’t be here long and he wondered how Bruce would take it if he left. He didn’t want to be babied once again like he had been with Bucky. Of course who knew if Bruce would treat him like he was some breakable seashell. Steve genuinely liked Bruce and would hate it if he could make himself leave.

 

“I can’t make you stay, but I would like it if you did, Steve.” Bruce’s thumb was now stroking Steve’s shoulder gently. “I don’t want to see you go to be honest. There’s something about you that seems familiar.”

 

Steve didn’t know how he could be familiar to Bruce. He didn’t know Tony back when they were children. He offered Bruce a wavering smile and just patted the other’s hand. He needed to rest and get his head together. Steve wasn’t sure what he was doing and he needed to just let go for a bit; preferably without Bruce watching over him.

 

“Just think of staying please.” Bruce whispered before taking his hand away and leading Steve down the hall.

 

They were in Steve’s room again and Bruce was pulling more clothes out for him. There wasn’t much said between them and Steve just allowed Bruce to undress and dress him. Steve laid down on the bed and watched as Bruce pulled the covers up. It was sweet and if this were any other person, Steve wouldn’t have allowed it. There was a gentleness about Bruce that Steve was fond of since it reminded it of his mother.

 

Bruce’s words lingered with Steve for a long time. He drifted off slowly since his mind wasn’t able to shut off. It was hell for him to just lie under the covers and do nothing but think. Steve couldn’t even mutter to himself to figure this out. He didn’t know if his situation would get better or if he would have a normal life. He had only loved one person and he knew there was no chance that his love would be returned.

 

~*~

 

The store Bruce had chosen was crowded and Steve was uncomfortable. He tried to stay close to Bruce but it was impossible when the man kept running into people he knew. Bruce was easily caught up in conversation after he had introduced Steve. The people seemed interested in Steve at first until they started gossiping again and Steve was left standing awkwardly.

 

He had turned his back for a few moments to look at a shirt on a rack and Bruce was gone. Steve felt panic set in because he was sure he had been left here. Bruce wasn’t anywhere when he realized he was alone among the people who were now trickling in and shopping. He was sure he wasn’t ready for this. The human world was loud and bright. There wasn’t a sense of propriety and Steve was sure that he was going to be eaten alive.

 

Finding Bruce wasn’t easy and Steve knew he would be giving up. He’d been at it for a long time now and there was no sign of Bruce whatsoever. Steve was beginning he’d been abandoned. Tony hadn’t been happy with him staying at his house and had made it known again that morning when Bruce announced he was taking Steve out to shop for some clothes and other necessities. Steve hadn’t liked the expression on Tony’s face and had hung his head.

 

It was a wonder Steve had found his way out of the store. He couldn’t breathe and needed more room than what the store had provided. The outside of the store wasn’t any better and Steve started to panic more. He needed to center himself before he broke down completely in front of complete strangers. There was a small wooded area and Steve made his way there. He could still feel the tightening grip around his lungs and the breath being forced out of him. Steve picked up the pace and crossed the parking lot the best he could in his condition.

 

When he reached the first tree, Steve collapsed and closed his eyes. He breathed deeply and tried to get a grip on himself. He couldn’t let himself go when he needed to help himself. He’d been so wrong about Bruce that he began to question if he’d been in his right mind to trust him. Steve was fighting with his mind with his hands gripping the sides of his head. He needed Bucky but there was no way he could get back to him. He was left alone with his mind and he was spiralling downward.

 

He thought he'd be fine on his own; Steve had always been a survivor.  This world was different and it was relentless. Bruce had been right when he told Steve that the previous night. He would be lucky if lived the next few weeks on his own; that was if he could get over being abandoned.

 

"Steve, listen to my breathing. Focus on that for me. I'm right here and I won’t let anything happen to you. I have you." The voice sounded so far away but Steve listened to it and matched the rhythm of the breathing. In and out and in and out.

 

His mind was settling as he focused solely on his breathing and nothing else. He could forget about being left behind because he was centering himself with someone's help.

 

When he was finally able to focus again, Steve was face to face with Bruce. The man looked as though he had ran a long way and had been scared to death. He had his hands on Steve's jaw and was stroking it gently. The action calmed Steve down even more and he blinked at Bruce; tilting his head in question.

 

“I’m sorry I got carried away in there. I didn’t mean to leave you alone.” Bruce said softly as he removed his hand. He moved his body so that he was sitting beside him and watched the parking lot. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that and I’m sorry, Steve. I shouldn’t have taken off like that without making sure you were by my side.”

 

Steve could only nod. He could tell Bruce felt bad about what had happened and Steve had to forgive him. There were a few bags of clothes that Bruce had dropped and he reached out for them, pulling them closer so he could look. Steve rifled through the bag and his jaw dropped. Bruce had bought him way too much. He tried to push the bag back to Bruce and shook his head. Steve didn’t want to take these things from him because he hadn’t earned them.

 

“They’re yours to keep, Steve. You need some help getting started and I’m happy to do that for you.” Bruce pushed the bag back into Steve’s arms and made sure he held it. “Now, let’s head home. I can make us some lunch.”

 

Bruce stood and Steve followed him. The trip back to the mansion was silent, Bruce wasn’t in a talking mood it seemed and well, Steve couldn’t just fill the silence. He knew if he could speak, he could make Bruce feel better. Steve had a gift for that sort of thing but it was wasted in this moment. All Steve could do was hesitantly place his hand over Bruce’s while he was driving. It was a small gesture and it probably wouldn’t even matter to Bruce. Steve withdrew his hand after a few moments because it was stupid and there was no need for it.

  
He could feel Bruce’s eyes on him but there weren’t any words said. There was a lingering sadness around Bruce that told Steve he was taking this hard. What had happened back at the store hadn’t been anyone’s fault and he had over reacted. Steve would have to buckle up because he couldn’t go through the rest of his life like this. He would do his best to improve himself and then one day, Steve would be able to go out on his own. 


	3. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has found Maria's old art studio and hides there. He didn't know it was off limits until Tony made it clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've re-written this chapter a dozen times before I got it right.

The room had been found by accident one day when Steve was feeling curious and he had wanted to explore. He had made sure Tony had been out of the house because he knew he wouldn’t be allowed many freedom whatsoever. And on good measure, Steve had made sure Bruce had been out as well. He didn’t want this to come back and bite him in the fin. He was tired of staying cooped up in his room since the panic attack he had at the mall. He had been afraid to step outside in case he started to feel like that again. It seemed, though, the fit had passed and he was safe to once again to go out.

 

He kept to the house since the incident  and tiptoed around, not wanting to really disturb anything. Steve was just curious as to what in the world Tony had done with all this space. Surely he couldn’t use it all for his gadgets. Steve still knew next to nothing about this version of Tony. It was disheartening when all Steve wanted was to be his friend. He knew one day he would have to leave because it wasn’t fair to Bruce or Tony if he stayed. Steve was causing problems and he didn’t want to drive the wedge between them and separate two people who were so in love.

 

It was a love Steve wished he had for himself. He knew one day he would find a mate but when he had met Tony, he had been so dead set on him that no one else would really fit the bill. Once Steve learned what he could in this world, he would leave and never look back. He had never meant to cause Tony any problems and the sooner he was out of the man’s hair, the sooner things would go back to normal for Tony.

 

Bruce would probably be angry that Steve would leave but he felt there was no other choice. Bruce was such a kind soul that Steve felt his gut wrench when he thought of leaving. The time he spent with Bruce was cherished and Steve would always have good memories. They would more than likely allow him to die happy when it was his time to go. One day he would return when Tony was less inclined to kill Steve. It was a nice thought and Steve pushed it from his mind.

 

He had to focus on the here and now. There had to have been a talent he could use to make himself useful and reimburse Tony for allowing him to stay here even though Bruce was the one who made his stay permanent. He had to repay that kindness somehow and so Steve had started to try find out what he was good at.

 

Cooking had been out of the question since he had messed up the kitchen. Tony had been outraged and had tried to kick Steve out of the house at that moment when Bruce had came to Steve’s rescue and told Tony he would replace everything. Steve had protested and tried to say that he would fix the mess himself but Bruce wasn’t having any of it. He waved Steve off saying that one day he would be able to make up for this but it wasn’t that day.

 

It was no wonder Steve was beginning to feel a soft spot for Bruce. The man was soft spoken and the patience he held was amazing. Steve was blossoming under the other man’s tutoring and he was a fast learner. Bruce would spend hours explaining the world around them so Steve could understand. More than often, Steve would find himself daydreaming about Bruce and what it would be like if they could be together with Tony included. It was a thought that struck Steve to his core.

 

He couldn’t get the thought out of his head and Steve had tried everything. He would exhaust himself out during the day by running and sitting down by the beach, careful of the waves that rocked against the beach. Steve had been on land for almost thirty days and he had nothing to show for it but his ability to now cook and his hang of human slang. Steve hadn’t spoken to Bucky for a week now. They had parted with angry words and he wished he hadn’t been so blunt with Bucky. His friend meant well but Steve had been disheartened and Bucky kept pushing for him to do something so he could return home.

 

There was no returning home. All Steve had were the paintings he had started when he had found the room with the canvas and various paints that were strewn around. He didn’t know who it belonged to but it was obvious that no one worked with the paints anymore. So Steve had started to paint, for hours he would lose himself as he brought the city he had been born into to life.

 

The dark blues and greens were marvelous and he lost himself as he just moved the brush over the blank canvas. Steve had no thought as he moved his hand and created something from his mind. He had filled over the canvases that had been left in the room but he didn’t know how to ask for more. His supply was dwindling and he needed to paint like he needed to draw breath. This was part of him now and it did wonders to calm him down when he was having a bad and Tony was prodding at him when Bruce wasn’t around.

 

He tried to avoid Tony as much as possible now because he knew the other would never care for him. Steve had it down to an art form except when they had to attend meals together and even then, Steve wouldn’t look at Tony. He still loved him, that part would never change. Steve would always cling to those feelings because he knew at one point in his life, Tony had loved him. It was bittersweet to be so close to Tony and yet he couldn’t interact with him like old times. The frustration was killing Steve and he didn’t know what to do.

 

Tony didn’t want to like him and it seemed that Tony was just as stubborn as Steve was. Steve wasn’t going to beg Tony to get to know him because that wasn’t how he did things. If Steve ever won Tony over it would be due to Tony liking him and nothing more. Steve wasn’t the sort of person who bribed to get the attention he wanted. He appreciated the more genuine things in life and if Tony couldn’t give him that, then so be it. He would go on with his life and find his own little niche in the world.

 

It seemed that painting was something he was good at and Steve knew people made money that way. He could earn his keep by selling his paintings and that would hopefully keep Tony off his back a little longer. He could stay here and then when his confidence was built up, he could strike out on his own. It was a solid in Steve’s mind. He could explore the world beyond Tony’s house and hopefully be able to find someone he could love other than Tony and Bruce. This wasn’t fair to either of them and he couldn’t keep living off them. It was wrong.

 

He set the brush down and gazed at his work. This was the first piece he painted where there was more than just a cityscape. Bucky was swimming, his back turned and his tail flipping as he headed toward the city. Around his waist was a satchel that had various items poking out of the top. It was one of the few times Bucky had allowed Steve to go with him on a scavenger hunt. Steve had been wide eyed the whole time and the experience had been amazing. After that time, he hadn’t gone with Bucky because he was a liability and there were dangerous things in the ocean humans didn’t even know about.

 

If Steve hadn't been so small he would have been able to join Bucky on his trips. It was a sore spot with Steve and still was. Even though he was human he was still small for a male. The thought made him angry but there was nothing he could do about it. Steve was granted with only one body and he had to live with it. He couldn't just ask the gods for another since it would be selfish and ungrateful.  At least, though, he had art.

 

There were already a dozen canvases covering the one side of the room. It was becoming crowded but Steve wasn't sure just what to do about that. He couldn't just up and tell Tony that he had been disappearing for hours just to paint. It would mean his death and as much Steve didn't like his life right now, he still wanted to live. He valued his life and needed to prove to himself that he was at least worth something to someone; even if it wasn't Tony.

 

A painting of Steve and was tucked away in a corner. It was a scene of Steve perching his elbows on a rock while Tony was sitting crossed legged on it. Steve was listening with rapt attention while Tony's arms were waving. Steve had captured the moment and he couldn't share it so he hid it. It was his most precious memory of Tony and Steve had never forgotten it. . He had held onto it as tight as he could and didn’t let a thing tarnish it. This was his memory and Steve wasn’t about to let anyone rip it from him. Even with Tony being as he was didn’t put a dent in the memory and make it lose what had made it special. He held onto with tight fingers and would never let go because it was all he had left of who Tony used to be.

 

He laid down the brush and looked at the painting he was working on. Steve was pretty sure he was done with this one. Bucky was magnificent with his dark brown fin. It blended well with the sand of the sea floor if he needed to hide. Steve had always wished for a strong fin like his best friends. His own had been thin and blue, standing out starkly against the sand with just how bright the blue was. He sometimes wished he was back home so he could swim and just lose himself. Swimming had been an outlet for Steve and had never failed to make him feel better when he felt that everything was closing in on him.

 

The wish that he could find some solace somehow was bright in his chest. Steve wanted an outlet for how lost he felt that wasn’t self destructive because the more time he spent on land, the more the sea called to him. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could deny the call of his home. The song was beautiful and oh so lovely. The tides were reaching out for him every time he got near the beach, beckoning him forward and to take that last step.

 

Only the knowledge that he would die had kept Steve from the final step. He was in a way afraid of dying. There wasn’t much lore on what happened to a merperson after he passed. Steve wondered why no one had looked into it or it was because they had at one point and had been shocked at what had been found and decided to not share it with the rest of the population. Steve was sure that whatever the reason, it was a good one. He had faith that some people knew what they were doing. Bucky had always told him that he put too much faith in others and maybe he was right. Tony was evidence of his misplaced feeling and he couldn’t even go back home.

 

Steve figured it was time to leave the room. He had been up here for hours already and his mind was only partly soothed. He would more than likely go down to the beach and see if Bucky was around. He needed to apologize to his best friend and let him know that he had been stupid. Steve couldn’t imagine a life without Bucky and he desperately wanted to keep his friend. Bucky had been around for years and kept Steve safe without asking anything for in return and if it had been a different life, Steve was sure they would be mated and have young. He knew he wouldn’t be able to have children as a human and the thought saddened him even more. He wanted a child with his eyes and Tony dark hair or Bruce’s curls.

 

He was out the door when he ran into someone. Steve looked up and all he could see was Tony’s furious face. His lips were screwed into a snarl when he shoved Steve to the side and entered the room. Steve didn’t want to go in, he wanted to run because he knew Tony was more than furious. It was evident from the man’s body language and the best thing for Steve to do was to go but he couldn’t. He had to face Tony; he couldn’t just back down and look like a coward because Steve didn’t want to seem like that sort of person to Tony.

 

“You! What have you done! This was my mother’s room and you just!” Tony spat as he turned on his heel. He hadn’t bothered to glance at the paintings once he realized what Steve had done. His brown eyes were furious when they landed on Steve and his finger was pointing in Steve’s direction.

 

 _I just needed an outlet. I needed to do something and I found this room. I didn’t mean any harm._ Steve signed quickly as he hoped desperately Tony would calm down. He didn’t want his former friend to be mad at him, especially for something like this. Steve didn’t want a fight.

 

“You should asked!” Tony yelled, stepping closer to Steve and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. “This was my mother’s room! My mothers! And you just! You ruined it!”

 

Steve’s eyes widened as Tony’s voice grew louder. He could hear the raw pain in his words and Steve fervently wished he had never stepped foot in the room and touched a paint brush. He wanted to take everything back. Steve regretted ever coming to land because it was apparent Tony would never remember him and Bruce was the one that Tony would spend the rest of his life with. Steve went to sign again but stopped when he saw the curled fist at Tony’s side.

 

It was like a flash had gone off and Steve had embraced for the blow that he thought was coming. When pain didn’t blossom on his face, he opened his eyes and saw that Bruce had Tony’s fist and his expression wasn’t a happy one. Steve used the opportunity to slip from Tony’s lax grip and run. He couldn’t be in that room, not when Tony had made it obvious he wasn’t welcomed. Steve had never belonged here and he knew Bruce would miss him but there was no reason anymore to stay. Tony had forgotten him and he couldn’t stay, not anymore. He had outlived his welcome and not even Bruce could make Tony accept Steve into their lives.

 

He ran down the stairs and out of the house, not taking note of his surroundings. Steve didn’t stop when he had heard his name called and kept going. He couldn’t bring himself to stay in a house where he wasn’t wanted. He had nothing for him anymore on the surface and he was sure that no one would ever love him the way Steve had wished Tony would. Steve had spent most of his life with Bucky and he could spend the rest of it with him even if it was only contact by the beach. He knew Bucky loved him but it wasn’t enough to break the spell he had agreed to. Steve needed someone who truly loved him.

 

The beach came into view and off in the distance Steve could hear thunder. That didn’t matter to him as he made his way down the rocky path and to the small alcove he had met Bucky in. He huddled against the rocks and cried as the wind started to howl around him. He didn’t care as time passed and the crack of thunder could be heard in the distance; coming nearer by the minute. Steve had watched storms from the safety of the sea and had always been fascinated by them. Now, they matched his mood as he started to shiver at the drop of temperature.

 

Back in the room Bruce still had a grip on Tony’s wrist. It wasn’t tight and wouldn’t leave a mark. Bruce’s face was a mix of disappointment and disbelief at what Tony had said and almost done. He hadn’t thought Steve being here had bothered him that much but it was obvious that it was taking a toll on Tony. Bruce had tried to broach the subject with Tony but every time he was deflected and there was not much he could do about it.

 

Until now.

 

Bruce had caught a glimpse of the utter despair and pain on Steve’s face as he had fled. As much as he had wanted to go after the young man, he had to speak to Tony. It was obvious for whatever reason Tony hated Steve and Bruce was going to get to the bottom of it. He didn’t want Steve to leave. They had a connection and he knew Tony would have one as well to Steve if he wouldn’t hide from the man and try to push him on the people who claimed they were Steve’s family.

 

Since they had put out the posters and information about Steve, people had been calling the hotlines claiming to be Steve’s family. It was easy to root out who was doing it so they could possibly get a foot in at Stark Industries. Bruce had screened some of the calls personally and he could just tell that no one cared about Steve, only what he could do for them. Bruce knew it was all coming to a head with the way Tony would try and steal his attention from Steve, but Bruce knew what it was like to be lonely in an unfamiliar place and he couldn’t subject Steve to that sort of pain. He had fallen hard for Steve and it was so hard to tamp down on the urge to bring the smaller man into his arms and kiss him senseless. If Tony had approved of Steve, he would have had no problems doing so.

 

“Why would you do that, Tony?” Bruce asked as he let of his fiance’s hand. He was trembling because no one deserved to be treated like that. It was no wonder Steve had been avoiding them both lately. He didn’t like the knot that formed in his stomach when he realized that Steve was closing himself off. It wasn’t healthy and he needed to go seek Steve out before something happened.

 

“This is my mother’s room! He just strolled in here like he owned the damn place! I want him gone, Bruce. He’s crossed the line!” Tony responded viscously. The expression of anger was out of place on Tony’s face and Bruce wasn’t sure what had quite caused this. There was something more going on with Tony and he was going to get his answer tonight, consequences be damned.

 

“That’s not a reason, Tony! You’ve been picking for a fight ever since Steve came here. I want to know why in the hell you’re treating him as though he has the plague! This isn’t like you at all, Tony!” Bruce growled in frustration. He wouldn’t take his anger out on Tony but it was boiling to the point where he would probably disappear for hours. He couldn’t do that though, not with Tony as tightly wound as he was.

 

“I don’t know what to tell you. You’re grasping at straws, Bruce! Straws! I want our life to go back to normal.”

 

“Tony, he’s done nothing to do you. I don’t understand what is going through your head.” Bruce said as he shook his head. He had to look away from Tony and catch his breath because he really didn’t want to say anything that he would regret.

 

He was going to say something more when a painting in the back of the room caught his eye. Bruce didn’t hear Tony as he moved, not aware of his movements until he was standing in front of the painting. It was breathtaking and Bruce wanted to touch it but couldn’t bring himself to because he thought he would taint it.

 

A younger Tony was sitting on a rock, arms spread wide and a goofy smile on his face as he looked down at another kid. it had to be Steve. There was no mistaking that nose or those eyes for anyone else. It was amazing and Bruce had to wonder just how Steve had been able to create this. He hadn’t shown Steve any childhood pictures of Tony and this likeness was too much to be coincidental.

 

“I remember this...” Tony said softly from behind Steve. He looked over the other’s shoulders and said nothing as he examined the painting. It was exactly how Tony had remembered it, right down to the dimple in Steve’s cheek. He reached around Bruce and traced a line down Steve’s face. They’d been so young then and so full of hope as they had talked.

 

“You what?” Bruce asked, turning his head so that his nose brushed against Tony’s temple.

 

“We were kids and always met down by the beach. I would spend hours with Steve and teach him about our society. I never thought...” Tony broke off his sentence and was out of the room in a flash leaving Bruce to wonder what the just had happened. He would get his answers either way because there was no way that Steve should have been able to paint that. It left many questions burning in his mind and he couldn’t answer them right now. He had to follow Tony to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.

 

He could smell the storm in the air with its heavy musk on the wind. It was only a few minutes later that it hit, hard and with vengeance. If Steve was out here, Bruce didn’t want to think about him being alone. They had to find him and fast. He knew Steve liked to frequent the beach and if he was down there, Bruce prayed for his safety. He followed Tony, who seemed to know where Steve was and was frantically hoping that he was fine until they found them.

 

Bruce’s heart was pounding in his chest when they made their way down to the beach. The waves were crashing violently against the shore and he was sure that if Steve had went anywhere near them, he was gone. He watched Tony desperately search for Steve, calling his name until his voice was going hoarse. It was no use since the name was lost on the howling wind. Bruce was almost ready to grab Tony and drag him back to the house but Steve was still out here. He was in danger and there was no possible way Bruce could leave out here.

 

He continued to follow Tony who seemed to know where he was going. Bruce wasn’t as sure footed as Tony was and stumbled a bit as they made their way down the rocks. The roar of the ocean could barely be heard over the winds that threatened to topple them over. There was a desperate need that flowed through both Tony and Bruce. They needed to find Steve before anything happened to him. He was small anyway and in this storm he could catch his death.

 

Tony stopped abruptly in front of Bruce and turned to the right. Bruce knew there was a small alcove down there and Tony had visited it when he was child until the accident. Tony had been afraid of the water and had kept away from it as much as possible. To see him down here gave Bruce hope that one day they could walk along the beach, preferably with Steve in the middle. He would see that day happen and would do anything to get there.

 

Bruce stepped out into the alcove and found Tony huddled over Steve. His hands were moving over the other’s body, more than likely checking for injuries. Ever since Tony had been captured in Afghanistan, he would always check for physical injuries first. He knew that one day Steve would get the story but right now, their concern was getting Steve out of the wind and rain. He needed to be somewhere warm and fast. Bruce helped Tony lift Steve from the rocks and held onto him tightly. He was shivering from the cold and was looking to the sea with such a heartbroken expression that Bruce wanted to soothe it away. Now wasn’t the time and slowly they made their way to the house.

 

Once inside, Bruce helped Steve to the couch while Tony darted to the kitchen. Bruce knew he was making hot chocolate so Steve would have something warm to hold. There was a thick afghan on the back of the couch Bruce pulled off and wrapped around Steve after he had stripped him down to his underwear. Surprisingly they were still dry and Bruce thank every deity he knew of.

  
Steve was almost curled in on himself but Bruce stayed by his side. He couldn’t leave him since it the fear of losing Steve was still fresh in his mind. He didn’t know if this would make Tony come around but it was hopefully a start. Bruce kept in contact with Steve the whole time Tony was in the kitchen. He knew Steve needed comfort after what happened and he would provide that with everything he had. 


End file.
